Friday, 10 February 2017

DEAR DIARY: What I Want You to Know About ZARIA.

Dear Diary, 

I was having a great day at work today until my manager pulled me to the side at the end of the day and asked to speak to me in private. He said, "You have been doing an incredible job recently with our clients but...  my trouble with you is that you're too quiet amongst your colleagues". There were no words. How do you respond to such a statement?

Coming from a outspoken Nigerian family, I have always been the one to stick out because I was never as "outgoing" as everyone else. I love how proud and grand my family are but that is simply not the way God created me to be. Initially I never really did think it was a problem that was until my uncles and aunties would pull me up about "not speaking enough", further annoying me. 

I am quiet and bubbly.
I am shy and outgoing.
I am reserved and friendly. 

There are so many several different m sides to me so it frustrates me when people try to place me in a box and make me feel less than because I don't act the way they want me to. I do not have to be one or the other. I am a multi faceted individual but I guess that doesn't always translate to the outside world.

Being quiet and reserved is not a flaw. I understand that there are situations where it is necessary to speak up and voice your opinions but I should not be forced to talk when I don't want to and especially when there is no need to. I would rather speak when I have something of substance, something beneficial to say than to speak to simply have my voice heard.

Often people talk about quiet people in a negative way, as though we're doing something wrong because of our reserved nature. There is beauty in quietness. I love observing people. I love analysing my surroundings. I love reflecting and thinking deeply about what I am going to say next. I love stillness. It allows me to gather my thoughts and think properly. That is just the way I am, why do people fail to understand this? 
I know not everyone will understand but all I ask is to be accepted the way I am.

Love Zaria X 

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